The Morning Tea
by polka-dotted-pengiuns
Summary: Sirius and Remus are having breakfast, Sirius doesnt like tea, he tells Remus and expects to be considerd a world hero for the action. How will Remus react at having his favorite drink bashed? a bit random, a bit funny, a good short fic.


The Morning Tea

Sirius Black hated tea. He despised it. He loathed it. In fact, Sirius Black thought that tea was the most vile substance on the very face of the earth.

Unfortunately for him, Sirius Black also lived with Remus Lupin. And when one lived with Remus lupin, one generally ended up consuming massive amounts of the cursed liquid. Today was no such exception to the valid generalization.

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Sirius was currently sitting with Remus drinking his morning tea. It was all Sirius to do to keep from gagging at the horrible taste of the liquid in his mouth, going down his throat as he watched Remus. Remus was drinking his tea happily, as he did every morning. He savored every mouthful before he swallowed the drink and continued to read the morning prophet. Remus was in his own little world of tea and news and was successfully boring Sirius almost to the point of tears.

Sirius couldn't take it anymore.

He slammed his cup down hard on the table. Remus flipped the newspaper page. Sirius sighed as loudly as he possible could. Remus took another sip of the tea, successfully enraging Sirius even further.

"Remus," said Sirius, getting up and pacing back and forth, his elegant nose perched high in the air. "I have an announcement."

Remus glanced up from his article.

". . . An announcement?"

"An announcement, a very important one at that."

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Sirius Black thought that this would be the day he made history, for something that wasn't a crime he didn't commit. He thought that this was the day because in his mind, one did not just casually walk up and tell a tea loving werewolf that they hated the stuff if they wanted to keep their head, it simply wasn't done. The fact that later in the month Remus would grow fangs and claws to aid him in taking out his temper didn't faze Sirius. He was going to tell the man what he thought, the man was going to get mad, Sirius was going to live, and he would go down in history, simple as that. Sirius's mind was a truly strange place.

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". . . A very important announcement?"

"Yes"

". . . Right" Remus turned the page and continued on with the article that had effectively grabbed hold of his attention. He took another sip of the tea in his hand, closing his eyes as he swallowed. He felt Sirius's expectant eyes on him, Remus looked up and sighed.

"What Padfoot," he asked "Is your very important announcement"

Sirius took a deep breath, bragging world hero here he came.

"I" he paused for a climatic effect, "Hate tea."

". . . I see."

"I really hate it, Moony."

"Do you now?"

"Yes, I think that it is the most vile substance on this very earth."

"Fascinating."

"I despise the stuff, Moony, I actually even _loathe_ it."

"Really?"

"Yes, in fact, I think that it is so nasty that all the death eaters in Azkaban should be forced to drink it for the rest of their lives as punishment for their sins. That's how nasty I think tea really is."

"Terrible."

"I know, in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if tea was really some obscure secret poison."

"Brilliant deduction"

"I thought so, but . . . HEY! That means _you've_ been poising me."

"Damn, you caught on, my plan is ruined."

". . . That was sarcasm wasn't it?"

"Yes Padfoot, that _was_ sarcasm." Remus turned the page again and drank the last of his tea.

"I really _do_ hate it, Moony."

"We've established this, you hate tea. I have now committed it to memory, never make Sirius Black tea, he really _does_ hate it."

". . . Good."

Remus got up to put his cup in the sink. Sirius looked up at him pitifully.

"Hey Moony?"

Remus sighed deeply

"Yes Padfoot?"

"I really _do like _coffee."

Well, I have finally gotten around to editing this thing. Though it probably still has a trillion mistakes, at least it's down from a quadrillion.

REVIEW!


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